The holidays are a really hard time of year for me as the focus is very much on family. And well, my family is…highly dysfunctional. Thoughts of my family make me very sad most of the time. Although I have tried many different things – the only one that seems to work is – distance. (Which hurts too.)
I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18
I am still learning to “let go” of wishing I had it different – that I had a loving childhood filled with security and love and that I had parents that were there and supportive – but as yet, I’m not there, at least not completely.
My new family, through my marriage, has helped me immensely in the area of family. I remember crying our first Christmas together – because his family IS FAMILY together. Such a beautiful thing! It brings both joy, and sorrow, to my heart.
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. Matthew 5:43,44
So, I try to keep my focus on the Lord, as always but more so – or at least off my earthly family. The Lord has done SO MUCH for me and has shown me what TRUE LOVE really is – and how love is to be unchanging and non-judgmental. He has taught me how to love, and to be loved. Knowing Him truly has filled a void I have had my entire life but never realized.
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
My prayers are for the MANY out there, who like me, have a lot of mixed (and hard) feelings to deal with during the holidays. Hold on to the Lord during this time, He will help us through.
Merry Christmas ~ I’m praying for you!
Now, if you would like some other thoughts on the holidays…hop over to the Schoolhouse Review Crew Blog Cruise (opens on 12/15).
Have a wonderfully blessed day!