Well, as you know if you read my blog much – and definitely if we are Facebook friends – my life is normally anything less than constant change. Some big, some small. I seem to always be trying new things and learning more and more.
Well, if you read my post from last night (and if not, you can read it now: Changing Identity) you know that I have been waiting for some news to see which direction the Lord would be taking my life – and my life is also the lives of my husband and my boys – because as you know, the mother is the center of the family, right? So, I’ve been waiting to hear about some things so I would know which way I’m heading and I am SO VERY EXCITED about how I was able to see the Lord work in our lives!
As you probably know, we are struggling financially (as SO MANY are right now) so dh and I have BOTH been putting feelers out for jobs. Awhile back I mentioned that I had accepted a job at Camp Bow Wow but as it turns out hubby and I decided by the time I drove there and back mixed with the cost of gas, it just wouldn’t be worth it. So, I’ve still been working at the local library part-time, he’s still tutoring and subbing (and going to school).
Well, awhile back I interviewed for a full-time job here in town but didn’t get it. It was between me and another lady, and she got it. (Quite honestly, I was a bit relieved as I didn’t really want to return to work full-time.) But then last week I received a call that one of the other ladies had been promoted and they were wondering if I was still interested. I told them yes and accepted the job, reluctantly – because we need the money so here was a job with more hours and pay.
Ever since accepting this position I have been struggling – struggling with how working full-time would change me in to what I was before. I was REALLY AFRAID of what would become of me if I returned to the work force full-time. I was afraid of how my thoughts would become “more worldly” and less family focused. I was afraid of looking to others instead of my husband. I was afraid of hardening my heart to my family (because it is SO HARD to leave them for so long every day). I was afraid that all the work the Lord and I have done over the last four years would be wasted.
However, I have the pleasure of letting you know that the Lord was watching out for me / us and put a way out of this (No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it. 1 Corinthians 10:13-14). The Lord provided a door for me. Now, let me take a moment to explain something else to you – something I’m not sure I’ve shared before.
I’ve now be a mostly stay-at-home mom for the past four years – for several of those years I kept telling my husband I would go back to work and he could stay home as we both seem better fit for the other. However, we have known and believed in our hearts that what the Lord said in Scripture is truth and we are to follow it to the best of our abilities. So, even though money has been very tight over the last six years, we have kept walking with hubby doing the majority of the money making and me doing what I can to bring in a little one the side. So I am hoping, with this said, that you understand how “easy” it would be for me to quickly run to this full-time job – to leave all the heartache, pain, learning, trials, etc behind and go to this full-time job. But my heart – MY HEART – would not let me. So the Lord, in His loving grace, provided a way of escape. It was up to me (and my husband) to decide which road I would take. We made our decision of what we would LIKE to do, then had to wait for the Lord to do the rest.
Today, I was offered double the hours at the library – JUST ENOUGH to get us by, to get us through. THANK YOU LORD! Thank you for providing a way out, a way for our family to be able to make ends meet while still being able to keep the things we’ve worked so hard at over the last four years intact. I am so very happy to share that I do not have to go through another identity change right now. That I can continue to be a mostly stay-at-home homeschooling wife and mom. I love that title. I do. And I thank and praise the Lord for getting me to the place I am today.
Have a wonderfully blessed day!